Some meetings are tough. Hearing things that you may not want to hear can be difficult, but in the end the toughest meetings, the ones where you get honesty and realism from others, may be the most valuable.
Case in point:
A few weeks ago I reached out to a gentleman who owns and runs a very successful local business. I asked him if he had any time to sit down and discuss my search for a job. He said it would be a while before he would have an opening, but in the meantime he suggested a few publications I should familiarize myself with to learn about the local business community. (I didn't take the time to look at any of these publications-- my first misstep).
He recently contacted me again to let me know that he had a small opening in his schedule. I took advantage of this and put the meeting on my calendar. Prior to the meeting, I sent him a small list of questions, which I see now were not focused enough for the short time I had with him (second misstep).
My third misstep was that I approached this meeting with a lazy attitude. I viewed it as a simple coffee and a chat rather than looking at it as a potential job interview. I was, and am, very interested in getting into this gentleman's industry, yet I didn't walk into the meeting with the seriousness that goal demands.
Because of this I heard some tough things in this meeting. It wasn't fun. But, it was productive.
I have a great appreciation for the time I was given and that someone took the time to take me to task. As I was leaving this gentleman turned to me and said, "Next time, make sure you take the time to read those magazines, it should be considered required to get where you want to go." Ouch. I could have left this meeting dejected and drained, and for a few moments I believe I was. However, I got in my car, changed into some fishing clothes and headed out to Boulder Creek to clear my mind. After a few hours, hooking three fish, and doing some serious thinking I came away energized. I may have "screwed" up this single meeting, but I don't give up easy and I am refocused on my goals and my approach to finding a job.
Not Boulder Creek, but still fishing. credit: Lilli Ross Location: The Frying Pan River
So, what should the takeaway from all of this be? Don't shy away from hearing things that you may not like. In reality, you should seek out that type of constructive criticism. If you are lucky you are going to hear things you don't like. Someone is going to take the time to tell you that you may not be qualified for the job you want or that you are looking at a role that is above your experience level. These are the things you need to hear-- the things you want to hear --and it should push you to refocus on your goals and rededicate to getting the job, promotion, or role that you are seeking.
Don't let someone being honest with you become a setback or roadblock.